Sometimes I want to crumple up every terrible awful way
I’ve been hurt And hurl it towards the softest most gentle
being in the room.
Once made my brother cry at a party full of people and
then left him alone
To dance.
My mother talked a lot about the bright side while I was on
my deathbed
And it made me want to die
Just to prove her wrong
But I didn’t and now I get to tell everyone who asks how I
am doing
That I am hanging in there.
because I am hanging in there.
No more new stories about my dad.
Not even dreams.
Tired of good people getting sick for no reason
Hate that as long as I live everyone I love will die
How everyone else is driving around in cars mostly
managing not run them off the road and also hanging in
there.
But I’ve made a pact with god
that if she gives me one small beautiful thing
Just for me.
Just for today.
I will hold it up
With shaky arms
in just a way
That it will catch enough light
And I’ll share it with everyone
Swear to you,
I will share it with everyone.
–
Avery Dresel-Kurtz is a multidisciplinary artist and poet born and raised in Los Angeles. Her poetry and spoken word has toured at an international level, and attempts to capture the nuances of womanhood, memory, and grief. She holds a Theatre degree from Pace University and often blends performance art, poetry, and mixed media in her work. She grew up in free public arts programs, and now works as a Teaching Artist in the same programs that taught her art.
© 2025, Avery Dresel-Kurtz
Halfway Down the Stairs 